The Story Must Be Told

An End to Loneliness

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ABOUT THIS LIL STEAMER:

the rain is falling on my face and I feel the gusts envelop me, cradle this leakin bod. it's a weatherly hug, uh huh, an embrace for a storyteller true. in another minute I won't be here, and in weeks my name will be forgotten. heh, but there will be more brandons, more brandon than those who came before. what glory!

Invocation
Psalm: “Standards of Decades Forgotten”
Liturgical Reading: “An End to Loneliness”
Concluding Prayer

you should probably call your grandmother today. but never your grandfather.

The Grand Circus

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ABOUT THIS MILKY PUP:

o! how my lawn it disappoints thee. a damn shame. a foul stinking lot of indecency. i caught the local youth upon it again—more every year, names more senseless than the last. brentyn. l'aurent. david. garf'eld. i curse! i slobber with outcry! what peeves i endure! preach us proper, Sister Callista

Invocation
Psalm: “Cure-All”
Liturgical Reading: “The Grand Circus”
Concluding Prayer

goodness, oh Story, how i wooze, how i dizzy. gonna vom soon, most like. gonna ferment it in a jar till next week—when we takes sips

Goop in the Evening

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

enter, and feast upon the delights we pilfer, the secret tidings we unearth. sniff it down and get gooey right here, right now with me. we find our own meaning, our own reason to exist when all appears as desolation. heh, though, course, some of us have gooier reasons than others. enjoy this story, read by our dear Brother Daniel Tamborelli.

Invocation
Psalm: “Foul Blossoms”
Liturgical Reading: “Goop in the Evening”
Concluding Prayer

we love you. we caress you. we are you, when we dream. become us next week, please, young fresh.

For A Moment, I Had A Friend

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

e ee oo oo, a story fine a story tru. mm hmm, a sad one no doubt, about the isolation we all face. i know my solitude most painfully in the shower, amid thy bubbles n scrubbin brushes, where no soul sees you and you have no voice but your own. then i get out, and i have company once more, as the worms squelch under my feet and the pigs rummage for the filth i hath dripped. can there be a desperation profound’r than this? shhhh it's a secret

Invocation
Psalm: “No Nose”
Liturgical Reading: “For A Moment I Had a Friend”
Concluding Prayer

gosh that’s it uh oh. guess you’ll just hafta stink with us next week heh heh

Mercy and Condemnation

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

music does not calm every troubled soul, no matter how they might sing, no matter how they might melodicize. the body is a tomb for us, and its desires our chains which constrict and pinch. is a soul troubled by a body truly troubled? use yon bodies to further the glory of The Story, and make sin no more, even if it’s a real raunchy uh oh kind of sin.

Invocation
Psalm: “Twins in Desire”
Liturgical Reading: “Mercy and Condemnation”
Concluding Prayer

join our service next Tuesday. we’ll watch you while you sleep, caress your sweaty forehead with The Story.

O! Gestation Unholy: The Father, The Mother

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

some folk work real hard. some folk just sit there, stew in juices, and turn to greases to stain the chairs and linoleum. course, some folk do both. ain’t exclusive, rot and labor. they shake hands just like the rest of us, cept course those of us with them sick hands, nails stenchin proper.

Invocation
Psalm: “Show and Tell” / “Turtle Stew”
Liturgical Reading: “The Father The Mother”
Concluding Prayer

grin with you next tuesday, our sweet lil grinners, our eager acolytes

The First Sermon of Cardinal Larson

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ABOUT THIS HERE EPISODE:

for this dutiful midnight vigil, the first tuesday of common days, we are graced with the beloved, articulate Cardinal Larson of the Archdiocese of the Church of the Seven Trusted Greases. he shares his many beautiful stories about his travels with us, his healthy, loving flock.

Invocation
Psalm: “Secret Tators”
A Special Sermon from Cardinal Larson
Concluding Prayer

more frothy truth for the greasy and faithful next tuesday

A Lapse in Nature's Judgment

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ABOUT THIS GOOEY LIL EPISODE:

we are each of us a product of wriggling porcelain tails and elusive siren eggs. we forget how we once were two. no more, nuh uh, mm hmm. today, we remember our gooey beginnins, we cherish our genome, and we mourn the fallen, of which there are incalculable. weep! go on!

Invocation
Liturgical Reading: “A Lapse in Nature’s Judgment”
Concluding Prayer
Church Bulletin

this here? this here is a treat for you, tasty n fresh. gosh, i love watchin you eat it, seein it dribble down yon chin. juicy!

An Audience With The Queen

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ABOUT YON GREASY EPISODE:

today we celebrate the feast day of sain't jo, in whose matronage we engage so ruefully: lewdness, grotesquerie, tragedy. we are blessed with this liturgy frothy n fearful from Sister Callista of the Queasy Madre. sniff it down, yon juicies

Invocation
Psalm: “O! Honey”
Liturgical Reading: “An Audience With The Queen”
Concluding Prayer

what truths we stink we stink for thee. come back next tuesday n we’ll tell ya a gooey one uh huh

You May Eat Me

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

civic duty binds us once as citizens, and twice as lovers. we are beckoned by nation to hoist standards, mouth recitations, and adore patriarchs, yet we know the cost. big truths consume the lesser truths, make stool of abandoned precepts. every lie is first a truth defeated; every sin a virtue rejected. oo it gives me a phlegmy goo, right in my chest.

Invocation
Psalms: “Boy Shakes / Squish Fists”
Liturgical Reading: “You May Eat Me”
Concluding Prayer

we adore the body of government, and we sup of its frothy milk. we piss of pride, weep of citizenship. all nations fall, and the Story spreads plague-like among the debris. spread yon eagle to its healthy protrusions.

Thine Bestial Companions: Mommy's Little Tipper

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oh by truth we are drawn to such meager beings squabbling underfoot and lying provocatively in beds of saliva and mounds of masticated plastic. how we chastise, beseech of them polite human behaviors, declaring “he thinks he’s people!” when you know it right true we believe the same. masters and their charges, owners and their servants, we extend our rotting hierarchy to thine noble, innocent beasts. for Shame!

Invocation
Psalm: “Blanket Secrets”
Liturgical Reading: “Mommy’s Little Tipper”
Concluding Prayer

thank you for such fondness and yes ugghh nnnff hueeggh we are beating in our chests and groaning in our groins. oh, how the Story it loves and inspires. please join our service next tuesday uh huh

Wretched Trinity: Super Value Menu

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

yes uh huh some of us enjoy the salty treats of food which is fast, and others of us depend upon yon morsels, teeth decrepit from substance and poverty. how fates intertwine, how doom swells and rains its pregnant waters over us all, the greasy and the not-so-greasy. reflect! renounce! repent!

Invocation
Psalm: “The Fish, the Filth”
Liturgical Reading: “Super Value Menu”

yup yup we’ll be back next week and the week after that and the week after that and we’ll never die

A Perfect Vessel

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE: 

on this day we remember a patron true a saint of courage and unshakable faith. that's why we all wear our prettiest clothes and paint our faces and present such handsome grins and firm grips of hand. it's why i wear red. what tender boundary tween belief n delusion, how it quivers with our pulse

Introductory Prayer
Psalm: “The Furrier’s Coat” / “You Do Know”
Liturgical Reading: “A Perfect Vessel”
Brother Reid’s Song
Church Bulletin

im not ready to leave you, promise me youll find me soon gosh i need you to feel whole

Yon Steamy Exaltation: A Cowboy's Story

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

Wipe your hands on your pleats, then clean your nails with yon sopping lips: the Story has been birthed unto us eager acolytes. Oh! how it stews there, such promise and squelching. Ee! how it inspires, gets these hips swayin and tongues drippin. Touch it twice! Quick! Stories like this ain't gonna love you much sweeter.

Introductory Prayer
Psalm: Spark A Holy Fire/Horse Testes
Liturgical Reading: “A Cowboy’s Story”
Concluding Invocation
Church Bulletin

Rejoice with us again next week, uh huh, squish squish.

TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. Music and Recording: Carl Schroeder. Stories and narration: cinders and cherries piled in the shape of a feeble man. Twitter, Insta: @TSMBTpod

Thy First Greasy Conception: A Man For The Woman

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In the name of the grease, the pleas, and the holy crease: we welcome you to Season 2 of The Story Must Be Told. Our congregation is humble, and our drips polite. Please please bow down with us in penitence. Give that kneeler a sniff. Smells like gasoline, don’t it? Ha! Go ‘head and ignore that.

Introductory Prayer
Psalm: "The Horns of the Beast"
Liturgical Reading: “A Man For The Woman”
Concluding Invocation
Church Bulletin

A new Mass awaits ye next Tuesday. And the Tuesday after that. And so forth. Mm hmmfff.

TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. Music and Recording: Carl Schroeder. Stories and narration: hot fudges and greasy touches. Twitter, Instagram: @TSMBTpod

The Christmas Spectac-U-lar

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

Do you hear them bells ringin? Do you smell that sweet ham smokin? Why, it's the day for which all the broys and grirls delight: the Story Must Be Told Christmas Spectac-U-lar. Get greasy for one of the more fucked up episodes in recent history, containing:

1. The Wisest of Them All: surprises are in store for yon gentle Star Child
2. He’s Coming to Town: a sweet taste of Yuletide history, the way it SHOULD have happened

Comin up later in January, season 2 will begin. Gosh, it's gonna please you up good, uh huh. 
TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. Music and Recording: Carl Schroeder. Stories and narration: cherub throats and sticky fingers. Twitter: @TSMBTpod

October's Truth: The Feast of All Grins

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ABOUT THIS EPISODE:

Enjoy this special monthly episode. Be unsettled by our poetry, be merry at our delights, be told of the story.

1. The Man the Sun Forgot: a healthy spooky tale for spooky healthy tots
2. The Auction: Ascension: uh oh, looks like another greasy short about a certain fresh young man heh heh

We are huffing and straining to birth a second season for your diligent ears, but in the meantime we shall please you duly with these monthly truths. Look out for the next monthly end of November.

TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. Music and Recording: Carl Schroeder. Stories and narration: drippy drips and goopy goops. Instagram and Twitter: @TSMBTpod